Love and Healing
by shipsinlove3
Summary: April has lost her faith in everything, including her hope in getting back together with Jackson. She is slowly spiraling out of control and there's only one person that can get to her. Will Jackson step-up and be there for her like he once was? Or, will he stand back, and watch her completely lose herself? Post 14x10.
1. The New Me

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". After the snippets of April I saw in 14x10, I've decided to write a fanfiction of what I'd like to see happen in the future. I believe that this new twist in the story regarding April has the potential to bring Japril back together. For those of you following my other story "Love Me Again", I promise that I'll continue updating that story, while writing this one. As always, thank you for following/favoriting and commenting.

Love and Healing

Chapter 1

The New Me

April feels completely hopeless for the first time in her entire life. The pain from seeing Matthew lose his wife and seeing the boy die, has been all consuming. It reminded her too much of losing Samuel and now she can't seem to find her way out of the vast black hole she's fallen into. As she makes her way into the hospital, she feels _different_. Last night, she had went to Joe's after everything that happened, and ended up going home, with one of the new interns. April had no longer cared about the consequences, so she went for it. For _him_. She had come to the realization that she wasn't tethered to Jackson anymore and he didn't give a damn whether she slept with that guy or not. He hadn't even flinched when she had told him that Matthew had surprised her at the hospital earlier that day. If they hadn't had the divorce papers to prove it, it was like their marriage never existed in his mind. So, now she's taking a page from his book, and pretending too.

April walks down the long hallway and heads to the whiteboard. She knows she has a few surgeries scheduled today, but maybe she can scoot them up earlier, so she can head home. April suddenly has no desire to be in the hospital, let alone perform surgeries on patients. "April." She turns to see Arizona walking towards her. "What's up?" Arizona shakes her head. "Where have you been, I've been trying to call you since last night?" April rolls her eyes and hates that everyone perceives her to be dependable, _perfect_ all the time. "What was that?" Her eyes leave the whiteboard and focus back on her friend. "What?" Arizona examines her for a moment, before frowning. "Rolling your eyes and not answering my question on where you've been?" April sighs sharply and locks eyes with Arizona. "I went to Joe's last night for a couple of drinks and I ended up sleeping with an intern." It comes out fast and uncaring, just the way April feels right now. She watches as her friend's mouth drops open. "You did what?" April stares at her blankly. "I went home with an intern, what's the big deal?" She starts making her way down the hallway and Arizona follows.

April can feel her friend's judgmental eyes burning into her back, right before, she comes to walk beside her. "The _big deal_ is that you're not freaking out about it." She sighs to herself, feeling annoyed with Arizona for making a big deal out of all this. "April, are you okay? Is this about what happened with that boy yesterday?" April stops suddenly in the middle of the hallway, having had enough of this conversation. "Can you tell me why everyone else can sleep around, but the one time I do, something's wrong with me?" Arizona puts up her hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" April doesn't wait to hear the rest of her half-hearted apology, choosing instead, to continue her walk quickly towards the O.R.

She hates that everyone holds her to a higher standard and wishes they'd leave her the hell alone. Over the last twenty-four years, she's come to realize, that she's tired of being the one with the steadfast faith in everything. For once, she'd like to be as _selfish_ as everyone else, living how she wants, no matter what others think. "April." She turns to see Meredith stalking towards her, her usual frown deeper today. April reluctantly stops and so does Meredith in front of her. "I know you weren't here last night, so I just wanted to brief you on what happened to Bailey." Despite her mood, April's eyes widen at her words. "What happened?" Meredith takes a breath. "Bailey suffered a massive heart attack, we're not sure, if she'll make it." Her breath catches at Meredith's words, but she decides to play it off. "Keep me posted, I have a surgery in ten minutes." With that, April makes her way down the hall, and walks into the correct O.R.

A few hours later, April finishes her first surgery, and starts back down the hallway. She needs coffee right now, still feeling a little hungover from the night before. April wonders if this is how college would have been had she actually _lived and had a social life._ Back then, her only goal was getting into Medical School. She hadn't had hardly any friends or even boyfriends during that time. As she comes to a stop at the coffee cart, she spots Jackson walking towards her. April turns away quickly, not letting herself _feel_ anything for him. Their relationship is over and there's no reason to _hope_ in them getting back together in the future. After a few minutes of waiting, it's her turn in line, so she steps forward. "I'd like a cappuccino with extra foam on top." The normal barista Stan, raises his brow. "You don't want your favorite mocha today?" She shakes her head. "No, I'm trying something new." He gives her a reluctant nod and she waits a few moments for her coffee to be made. April pays him and nearly runs into Jackson behind her. "Sorry." She gives him a nod, his face as unreadable, as it's been for the last few months. April begins walking away, not wanting to be anywhere near him, but his voice stops her. Despite the distance between them, she's always found herself coming back to him, but _no more_. After today, she vows to stop doing that, stop _hoping_. She turns for the last time to the sound of his voice and he gives her a questioning look. "Hey, what time should I drop Harriet off tonight?" There's a little ache within her heart, despite her new no-care attitude. It's not like she doesn't know that he could care less about her anymore, but still, there's that pesky ache inside her heart.

April quickly squashes the last of her feelings, before meeting his eyes. "Keep her an extra night, I'm going out tonight." With that, she starts to turn, but hears Jackson's voice ring out. "Wait, April. Is everything okay with you?" She turns to look at him over her shoulder. _Now he notices_. "I'm fine, Jackson. Actually, this is the first time I've felt _alive_ in my entire life." April sees confusion and concern play across his face, but she no longer gives a damn. This is the new April Kepner and people will have to just get used to it.


	2. The Trouble with Exes

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". This chapter will feature Jackson's P.O.V regarding April's strange behavior. Will he figure out what's going on with her? As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 2

The Trouble with Exes

Jackson spots Arizona at the nurse's station and makes his way over to her. Ever since yesterday, he's been trying to figure out what's wrong with April. She hadn't been acting like herself and he knows he has to get to the bottom of it, for _Harriet's sake_. Jackson approaches Arizona and stands next to her at the desk. Her eyes shift to someone coming through the door and he looks in that direction. April enters, in the same clothes she wore yesterday, looking completely disheveled and hungover. Jackson feels confusion wash over him, as she walks past him, without saying a word.

While they haven't exactly been having long conversations lately, they have been talking a little to each other. April usually initiates it, but today, she decided to ignore him. "She's losing it, Jackson." He turns to Arizona and can see the concern in her eyes. "Did she give you any idea why she's acting like this?" Arizona nods her head. "She did, but I'm not sure I should tell you." Jackson feels anger rise inside of him. "Why can't you tell me?" She shakes her head. "It's not my place, I'm not getting in the middle of you two again." He meets Arizona's eyes. "I need to know what's going on, I have Harriet to think about." It takes her a few moments, but she finally relents, and gives him an exasperated nod. "She blurted out yesterday that she slept with one of the interns." Jackson stares at her blankly, trying to wrap his head around, what she's just told him. Out of all the things he thought she was going to say, April sleeping with one of the interns, had never crossed his mind. There's silence between them for a few moments, until Arizona's beeper fills the air.

Jackson stares at her in disbelief. "I've really got to go, if I find out anything else about April, I'll let you know." With that, she rushes down the hall, and it leaves him wondering how any of this is happening. April has always been the _voice of reason_ , even when he hadn't wanted to listen. Now, she's sleeping with interns? He shakes his head and heads down the hallway towards the bustling ER. Jackson has about a two-hour window, before he has to report to the OR for surgery, so he figures, this is as good a time as any to confront her. He knows she won't like him ambushing her like this, but he needs to know what's going on with her. As Jackson enters the ER, he spots April working on a patient with efficiency. He's always admired how at _home_ she seems here in the ER and her _skill_ at being a trauma surgeon.

He waits a few minutes for her to finish with her patient and is about to approach her, when a guy he's never seen before comes towards her. The way the guy is looking at her, like _she's his_ , makes his stomach turn. Jackson watches, as April gives him _the look_ and he grabs her by the hand. The two start walking out of the ER and down the long hallway. Jackson fights the urge to follow them but stands frozen in the middle of the ER. He doesn't want to think about where they went or that guy touching her, but the images come anyways. Jackson's beginning to regret ever coming to talk to her because now he knows what the guy looks like. "Avery." Jackson turns to see Owen coming towards him. "I need a hand outside, there's an incoming trauma that involved a house fire. I'm going to need your help in treating the burns they sustained." Jackson gives him a nod, before following Owen to get their emergency scrubs on. He needs to focus on the task in front of him and try to put all his thoughts about April aside. Jackson hears the sirens blaring and he makes his way outside quickly. They wait for the ambulance to stop and rush towards the back of the vehicle. The paramedics open the door and two people are screaming in the back.

As they maneuver them out, Jackson sees that there's a little girl, about Harriet's age, and a woman next to her. Both are writhing in pain due to what appears to be third degree burns and for some reason, he can't help but picture it being April and Harriet. Despite the distance between him and April, he couldn't take seeing her or their daughter like this. "Avery, let's go." Jackson snaps out of it and wheels the patients into the ER. They move- into two separate exam rooms. He starts to treat the burns, when the woman locks eyes with him, pain etched in her eyes. "Where's…my…baby?" She barely gets the words out, but he tries to reassure her. "What's your name?" The woman begins hyperventilating. "My…name…is…Kate…Molloy." Jackson gives her a nod. "Your daughter is in good hands, she's in the next exam room being treated by Dr. Hunt." Kate gives him a small nod full of uncertainty, before he starts the morphine drip, and continues treating her burns.

After forty-five minutes, Jackson finishes tending to her charred skin, and looks down at Kate. The morphine has taken effect and she's resting peacefully now. Her eyes are closed, and he leaves the room silently. Jackson makes his way over to the next exam room and sees that the girl is stable too. He breathes a sigh of relief, as he enters the room. "I'm glad to see that she's stable." Owen turns to look at him and nods. "I'm glad too, how about your patient?" Jackson's eyes fall on the baby, who's sleeping soundly. "She's sleeping now, but her burns were extensive." Owen gives him another nod. "Hers were too, if it wasn't for Dr. Kepner's quick response, the baby wouldn't have survived." Jackson's eyes furrow in confusion, but he decides not to press Owen for more information. He's glad that April is still a dedicated doctor, despite how different she's acting.

Jackson waits a few more moments, before he leaves the ER, and heads down the hallway. He starts making his way towards the cafeteria, so he can grab some food, before he has to report to the OR for surgery. Jackson figures that it will also give him some time to think about how he's going to handle this situation with April. They've been through a lot the last few years and he's always dealt with it by distancing himself from her, but he knows he can't do that this time. As Jackson reaches the end of the hallway, he turns the corner to see that guy coming out of an on-call room. Anger fills him, as he watches him head down the hallway. Before thinking about it, Jackson decides to move towards the room, and open the door. His heart stops, when he sees April half-dressed. Her eyes meet his, but she seems unaffected by his presence. Usually, she'd be embarrassed for any man she's not married to seeing her like this, even though he used to be married to her. "What's going on here, April?" She gives him a glare. "What does it look like, I'm having fun?" A mixture of anger and hurt flood him, as she pulls her scrub top over her head.

Jackson takes a moment to realize that this was _their on-call room_ , when they were sneaking around. The anger intensifies inside him, as she locks eyes with him. "What?" Jackson sees an emptiness in her eyes that wasn't there before, and he wonders what caused her to be this way. "Did something happen to make you _like this_?" He can see anger fill her eyes at his question, but he's not backing down. "Like what, Jackson? I'm just like any other _single woman_ in this hospital. Sleeping around is part of the territory." Jackson shakes his head. "Talk to me, April. Don't shut me out." She gives him an angry smile. "Oh, that's rich coming from you. You've been shutting me out like I never meant anything to you. _Like we never even happened._ " The hurt within her eyes makes his heart clench, but he sees anger soon replace it. "I'm tired of living my life inside the lines, it's time I start doing things outside the lines the way I want to." Jackson doesn't know the person standing in front of him anymore and it scares him. Seeing April like this, uncaring and cold, makes his heart ache.

Jackson barely registers April gathering her things, too stunned to notice. It's not until her voice fills the air, that she gets his attention. "I'm taking Harriet for the weekend, I'll pick her up at your place after my shift is over tonight." With that, she walks past him, and out of the on-call room. It stung the way she had just treated him, as if they were strangers. Her words come back to him full force. 'Like I never meant anything to you' and worse, 'like we never even happened'. He had never intended for her to feel like he thought they were _nothing._ All he had wanted to do was move on with his life and give her the space to do the same. Jackson's not sure what to think about all this, but what he does know, is that he needs to find a way to get through to her. _Before she's gone forever._


	3. Moving On

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". Wow, thanks to everyone that has taken the time to follow/favorite and comment on this story. I really appreciate all the support from all of you. This chapter will feature April's P.O.V about her run-in with Jackson in the previous chapter. I hope everyone continues to enjoy this story.

Chapter 3

Moving On

April makes her way down the hallway, having enough of explaining herself to Jackson. She can't believe how hypocritical he's being about everything. For months, he's completely shut her out of his life, and now he doesn't like her doing the same. April feels her anger rising inside of her, threating to consume her. They no longer belong to each other and it grates her that he thinks that he can treat her as if they do. She heads straight towards the intern locker room, barging right through the door. April spots Vik in the corner, just pulling his scrub top over his head, and quickly makes her way over to him. His eyes meet hers, as she grabs him by the arm to drag him out of the room. "Where are we going?" April turns to smile at him. "To live life." With that, Vik doesn't say another word, but lets her lead him to the nearest on-call room. April refuses to let Jackson control any aspect of her life anymore.

A few hours later, April makes her way to the parking lot, on her way to pick up Harriet. She's dreading the upcoming fight their sure to have as soon as he opens the door. April is so tired of fighting with him and going around in circles. She reaches her car and settles into the driver seat. April starts the car and makes her way to Jackson's house. A home she used to share with him, a home that she thought they'd always share. She shakes her head, pushing the what ifs out of her mind. April had been foolish enough to think that he'd ever want to be with her again. Why would he, considering that he deemed her the bad guy in their failed relationship? April takes a sharp breath in, as she continues the short drive to his house.

Five minutes pass, before she pulls into the driveway. April gets out of the car and walks up to the front door. She knocks and waits for a few moments, before the door opens. Jackson stands in front of her, with Harriet in his arms. "Before you take her, we need to talk." April shakes her head. "There's nothing left to talk about, Jackson." He gives her that look, the one that says he's about to unload on her. April doesn't need this right now, so she sighs to herself. "I just want my daughter." Jackson's expression changes to one of confusion. "You're not taking her until we talk." She feels the anger inside of her begin to ignite. "You can't keep me from taking my daughter." Jackson takes a sharp breath in and a silence falls between them. April can't understand why he's doing this, why he even cares at this point. Using their daughter as a bargaining chip to talk to her is low.

Harriet fills the silence with her babbles for a few moments, before Jackson's eyes meet hers. "I know you, April. You're not the type of woman that sleeps around, what's bothering you?" She looks into his eyes, seeing the compassion and love within them. Just like that, he's the man she fell in love with all those years ago, her best friend. This makes her even angrier, as she feels herself explode. "Where were you?" His eyes go wide. "What?" April can't help the words that are about to come out of her mouth, she's tired of suppressing them. He needs to hear them. "Where were you when the whole hospital turned against me after I became interim Chief, or after Montana, when I was waiting for you to do something, say anything, about what happened between us? You made me look like a fool, Jackson." She takes a steadying breath, trying her best to hold back the tears, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. "I know I hurt you after I went to Jordan and I'm so sorry for that. But the way you ignored me and relegated me to merely the mother of your child, it hurt Jackson, it hurt." The tears come and she avoids his eyes, knowing what she'll see there. April doesn't need his pity, not now, or ever again.

Another silence follows, this one longer than the last, before he clears his throat. "I'm sorry, April." Her eyes lock with his, giving him a glare. "Where was that sorry months ago? I've been waiting for that sorry from you and you couldn't say it until, what, I was _moving on_?" Jackson stares at her with what looks like hurt in his eyes. She can't afford to feel sorry for him, be drawn back in. "So, you're moving on with that intern?" April nods her head. "Yes, Jackson, I'm _moving on_." With that, he finally hands Harriet over to her, and she turns to leave. She doesn't dare to look back, knowing the hurt she'll see when he does.

Hours later, April gives Harriet a kiss on her forehead, and then whispers. "Good night, nugget." She smiles down at her little girl, before leaving the room, and making her way down the hall to her own room. April's had a long day and she's ready for her head to finally hit the pillow. From saving that little girl, to having that long fight with Jackson, she's exhausted. April quickly jumps into bed and closes her eyes. She wonders if her life will ever be uncomplicated because she's tired of everything being so complicated. April takes a sharp breath in, staring at the ceiling above her, knowing that she's doing the right thing. Moving on is the only way for her life to be uncomplicated, the only way Jackson won't have the power to hurt her anymore.


	4. Twist of Fate

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". This chapter will feature Jackson trying to give April space for her to "move on". Will a twist of fate make him reevaluate everything? As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 4

Twist of Fate

Jackson makes his way out of the OR after his first successful plastic surgery procedure of the day. He has a full schedule and hopes he can keep his focus for the rest of the day. Jackson scrubs out and walks into the busy hallway. He hopes he doesn't run into _her_ today. After last night, he knows there's no way of helping April. She had made it clear that she didn't _want_ his help, something he had never expected her to say. Jackson shakes his head, trying to banish all thoughts of April out of his mind. She had shut him out and he needs to respect that.

He sighs to himself, as he makes his way down the hallway, and towards the cafeteria. Jackson looks at his watch, noting that he only has a half hour, before he has to report for his next surgery in the OR. When he reaches the cafeteria's double doors, he walks quickly up to the line. Just as he looks ahead of him to see how long he'll have to wait, the double doors open loudly behind him. He turns and sees a frantic looking Arizona running towards him. The look of utter fear within her eyes makes his blood run cold. He's seen that look before, many times in the OR. Sometimes patients had it and other times it was their families. When she reaches him, which seems like hours, but he knows is only moments, she rests her hands on both his arms. "You need to come with me quick." Jackson stares at her dumbfounded for a few seconds, his mind picturing the two most important people in his life. He tries to push down his fears that are threatening to swallow him whole. "There was an accident…Harriet's okay, but April…" He feels his heart stop. "The force of impact…we lost her for a few minutes…" Jackson doesn't wait to hear the rest, instead he runs out of the cafeteria, and towards the ER on the other side of the hospital.

He's running so fast, he nearly collides into a few gurneys, but he still makes it to the ER in record time. Jackson feels his heart pounding, as he rushes through the double doors, and quickly scans the crowded room. It takes him a few extra seconds to spot her, but he finally sees her, lying on a gurney. His breath catches, as he takes in the full extent of her injuries. The top of her body is in a cast, her arm is broken, and her left leg is in a cast. Her head is also bandaged, signaling brain damage. The sight is straight out of his nightmares, one he has never wanted to come to light.

As he stands there in the middle of the chaotic ER, everything else falls away except her. April: his person, the mother of his children, the only woman he's ever really loved, lying completely lifeless in a hospital bed. Jackson feels like a knife is being twisted through his heart, just as he feels someone's hand on his shoulder. "Avery, I'm sorry we couldn't do more." Jackson barely registers the voice, but he knows it's Owen. It takes him a few moments to turn to face the man, but when he finally does, he sees the sadness within his eyes. Jackson knows that Owen has been a mentor to April and that he was also the one who had encouraged her to go to Jordan. _To leave him behind in his grief._ At first, he had blamed Owen, and resented him for taking April away from him after she left. It took him a long time to come to terms with the fact that it had been April's _choice_ to go, to leave him. Jackson's thoughts are cleared from his mind, as Owen's voice breaks through the space between them. "When the paramedics called in and said that one of our own had been involved in a hit and run accident, I couldn't believe that it was April. We did everything we could to treat her head injury, but it was too extensive. Amelia did an MRI and the scans showed that the impact from the accident put her into a coma. I'm sorry I don't have better news." Jackson feels the tears welling up within his eyes, as his mind snaps to his other favorite person. "Harriet?" Owen gives him a ghost of a smile. "She's doing alright, but she has a few bumps and bruises. Alex has her under observation in Peds, just to be safe." Jackson takes a sharp breath in, trying to steady himself.

He feels the tears start running down his cheeks and hates that he's showing his emotions so openly. Growing up, his mom had always told him to suppress his emotions in public, especially at hospital functions in front of her colleagues. Jackson had thought that emotion was weakness and has lived by that idea ever since. He feels Owen's hand grip his shoulder. "I'll keep you updated on her condition, go see Harriet." Jackson gives Owen a nod, before forcing himself to finally move out of the ER, and towards the elevators at the end of the hallway. He wipes the tears from his eyes, ignoring the sympathetic stares from his colleagues. Jackson doesn't need that right now. What he needs is April to wake up and to see Harriet.

As he reaches the elevator, he hits the button to go up. Jackson wonders if the last conversation they'll ever have will be from the night before. The thought makes his heart ache, as the elevator dings open. He steps in and is glad that it's empty. Jackson needs time to process everything before he sees Harriet. He knows that's what April would want. Jackson takes a shaky breath and rubs the back of his neck. He thinks about sharing the elevator with April all those years ago. He had gone out and bought her the biggest ring he could find. Jackson had wanted her to know how much she had meant to him, how much he loved her. He smiles sadly at the memory of giving her the ring and her telling him that she hadn't needed that big ring because that wasn't why she had married him. She had gone on to say that she'd have been happy wearing a shoe string on her finger, as long as she was with him. The next morning, she had made sure to tell him in the elevator, how much she had loved, and appreciated the ring. _How much she had loved him._

The elevator dings again and Jackson steps out. He spots Alex standing by the nurse's station and rushes towards him. "Karev, how is she?" Alex looks up from his chart and he can see the sympathy in his eyes. "She's fine, Avery. She's been asking for you and April." Jackson's heart stops at his words. He wonders what he's going to do this without her, how he's going to raise their daughter on his own. The thought makes a shiver run down his spine. "Thanks for taking care of her." Alex gives him a nod back. "It's my job, Avery, but you're welcome." With that, Jackson walks down the hallway to the Nic U. He stops just outside the door and gathers himself for a moment. Jackson wipes away the tears from his eyes and opens the door. He spots his beautiful daughter sleeping in her little bed on the other side of the room and he can't help but smile. Jackson makes his way over to her and hears her little snores filling the air. As he watches her, he sees her little nose scrunch up in her sleep. His heart aches at the memory of April doing the same thing in her sleep. Jackson hopes that she comes out of her coma because they both need her and always will.


	5. A Strange Dream

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". This chapter will feature April's P.O.V. in an interesting way and explain what's going through her mind while she's in the coma. As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 5

A Strange Dream

April opens her eyes to nothing but darkness. There's no light encompassing her, she's just lost in a vast space. She finds herself lying flat on her back, her heart pounding in anticipation and fear. April tries to move, but her body won't let her. She suddenly feels like she can't breathe, and she knows what she's experiencing. _A Panic Attack_. The term reverberates within her mind repeatedly, sounding more daunting each time. "Mama." The voice chills her to the bone. April recognizes it instantly, even though she's never heard it before.

Without warning, her body is suddenly able to move, and she gets to her feet. April immediately feels a headache come on and dizziness follows. She notices a light in the middle of the room, reminding her of a spotlight. Tears come to her eyes, even before her eyes come into focus. A teenage boy stands there, bathed in the light, and April's heart stops. "Mama". That's all she needs to hear to know that this is real. Her baby is alive and he's here. April rushes towards Samuel, her arms wide open, and her heart full of love. She sees a smile spread across her son's face, as her arms finally wrap around him.

April thought that she'd never get to hold Samuel again, after he had died in her arms that terrible day. She holds him tightly to her, never wanting to let go of him again. "Mom, you're killing me." April freezes in place, the voice now much deeper. It takes her a moment to pull back from her son, but when she finally does, Samuel is now about thirteen years old. She looks at him and the face staring back is Jackson's. The only feature that he has of her is the Kepner nose, but she doesn't mind. _He's her son,_ _hers and Jackson's_. The though makes her heart warm and she can't help but envelope him again.

A few moments pass, before Samuel's voice breaks the silence. "Mom, we have a lot to do before you go back. I promise you can hug me later." April laughs at her son's typical teenage behavior, even though he should only be three. As she hesitantly pulls back, her mind floods with nothing but questions. April holds both his arms, not wanting to lose the contact completely. "Samuel, where are we?" _He gives her a smile, Jackson's smile._ "There was an accident…" Her breath catches at his words. "Is Harriet okay?" Samuel gives her a nod. "She's okay, mom, but you had a pretty bad head injury." April does her best to wrap her head around everything her son is telling her right now, but one puzzle piece still doesn't fit. "Samuel…how are you here…like this?" He gives her a smirk. "You mean, how am I a teenager, when I was a baby not too long ago?" She gives him a nod. "I figured that you'd want to talk to me, so I'm appearing to you as a teenager. I thought it would be nice for you to see me how I would have turned out." April can't help but smile at her son and how amazing he is. She just wishes that Jackson and Harriet were here too. April knows how much he hurt over Samuel's death, even though she wasn't there for him at the time.

A pang radiates within her heart, as she thinks about the destruction of her marriage to Jackson. She wonders if he'll ever find it in his heart to forgive her or if she'll ever find it in her own heart to forgive him. For treating her like crap since Montana, for playing with her heart so recklessly. April hates that he decided to help her _only_ when she was spiraling out of control and not before. A hand suddenly sits on her shoulder and her son's voice breaks through her thoughts. "Dad's hurting, you know." Confusion comes over her, as she turns to her son. "What?" Samuel gives her a frown. "He's sitting down there right now beating himself up about not being able to help you. Dad loves you, mom, he always has." The conviction in her son's voice makes her heart stop.

She feels the tears start to fill her eyes. "Then, why has he been shutting me out and treating me like a stranger?" Her son shakes his head. "You hurt him more than anyone and he has no idea how to deal with that much hurt. You know how dad is, he _internalizes_ all his feelings?" April laughs at her son, a sound she hasn't heard from herself in a while. "Internalize, kinda a big word for a teenager." He gives her Jackson's smile again. "I'm not the average teenager." April gives him a nod, agreeing with some of what he said, but not all of it. "He hurt me too." Samuel wraps her in a brief hug and April smiles. "I know he hurt you and he knows it too." There's a pause in their conversation and April tries to read his eyes. She can see the sadness within them. "I'm sorry for everything you've both been through since I…died. It's my fault you and dad aren't together." Now, it's Aprils turn to pull her son into a long hug.

She hates that he blames himself for destroying her relationship with Jackson, the thought makes her heart ache. "It's not your fault, don't blame yourself. We loved you so much and we were heartbroken when we lost you, but you were not the reason for our divorce." Tears stream down her face, as she holds onto the baby she lost. The son that she had dreamed about for months, the son that she loves with all her heart. A few minutes pass, before he lets her go. She notices a few stray tears on his cheeks before he wipes them away. "I love you, mom." Her heart warms at his words, as she grabs onto his hand. "I love you, too. Always." With that, the two take a walk into the vastness. There's nothing in either direction, just her and her son.


	6. Five Years Without You

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". This chapter is going to be an emotional one and there will be a significant time jump. At this point in the story, April's been in a coma for five years, and Jackson is a single father raising Harriet. As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 6

Five Years Without You

Jackson finishes the last surgery on his schedule and heads towards the hospital daycare. He's had a long day and he's sure Harriet will be bursting with energy. She reminds him of her mom in that way. _April_. He tries his best not to think about her because every time he does, his heart breaks a little more. April hasn't opened her eyes in five years and everyone in his life has told him that the likelihood of her waking up is very slim. Jackson hasn't been listening to them because he knows that April wouldn't have given up hope, if he was lying in that bed. She'd continue to be hopeful for him, so he's doing the same for her.

As Jackson reaches the daycare, he peeks into the window, and sees his beautiful six-year-old daughter laughing with her friends. That smile of hers makes him smirk because it's the same way April used to smile. Harriet has her mother's light and he's thankful for it. Jackson opens the door to the daycare and takes a few steps in. Harriet quickly spots him and starts running towards him with a grin. He opens his arms and she crashes into them. "Daddy, you're early." Jackson leans back and gives her a smile. "I know, sweetheart. I was able to finish my last surgery early. So, what do you say, we go get an ice cream?" Harriet's grin widens as she backs away from him. "Yeah, let's go, daddy." He gives her a smirk. "Go get your backpack and we'll go." With that, she takes off across the room, and Jackson smiles at how excited she is. He's glad that he can spend the rest of the day with his daughter, he just wishes April was here spending it with them.

Jackson holds onto Harriet's hand, as they make their way down the hospital hallway. She waves to the passing doctors and nurses, having known most of them her whole life. With a pang in his heart, he realizes that no girl her age should know the hospital staff that well. Harriet squeezes his hand, as they make their way through the lobby, and out the automatic doors. She's humming to herself again, which is something she's been doing a lot lately. "Daddy, what _was_ mommy's favorite ice cream?" He stops suddenly, thrown by his daughter's question.

Over the years, they've talked a lot about April, especially when they visit with her. However, she's never talked about April in the past tense. Jackson's heart clenches at her words, as he kneels to her level. He meets her eyes and all he sees within them are her innocence and sadness. "Harriet, we've talked about this. Mommy has been sleeping for a long time, she's still here with us." Confusion suddenly floods her eyes. "But I heard Judy and Ellie say that she wasn't gonna wake up ever." Jackson feels his heart stop, as he tries to figure out what to say. After a few moments, he says the first thing that comes to his mind. "Your mom likes double chocolate mint ice cream, it's the only thing she would eat when she was pregnant with you." He can't help but smirk at the memory of April calling him in the middle of the night and begging him to buy her some ice cream. "So, she's gonna be okay?" His eyes focus back on his beautiful daughter, their filled with so much hope, it warms his heart. "Yeah, your mom is going to be okay." Jackson gives her a kiss on the forehead before getting to his feet. "You promise, daddy." He looks back down at his daughter and nods. "I promise." With that, the two continue towards their car, and head to the ice cream shop.

Fifteen minutes later, Jackson brings two ice cream cones to the table. He looks over at Harriet and she has this excited look on her face. It's the same one she has every Christmas morning when she wakes up. "Here you go, sweetheart." Jackson hands Harriet the cone and she immediately starts eating it. He can't help but smile as he takes a seat across from her. When he had asked her what kind of ice cream she wanted, she had said double chocolate mint. "Is it any good?" Harriet nods her head. "It's awesome, I can see why mommy likes it." Jackson gives her a smirk and then he starts eating his own ice cream.

It's been awhile since he's been here and even longer since he's had an ice cream cone. April had loved this place and they had gone on a few dates here right after they had gotten married. That was when things were good between them before everything got screwed up. Jackson regrets now how he handled things with April and he's been suffering with that guilt ever since she went into her coma. "Daddy are you okay?" He pushes away his thoughts and looks across the table at his daughter, who's staring at him with concern. "I'm fine, just thinking about your mom." She gives him a sad smile and reaches her tiny hand across the table to grab his. "We should get mommy her favorite ice cream and bring it to her. Maybe she'll wake up." Jackson gives her an appreciative nod and a smile. "I think she'd like that." The two spend the next few minutes finishing their ice cream, before heading to the counter, and ordering their favorite person one too.

When they get back to the hospital, Harriet goes straight towards the elevators. They get in and she presses the button. As the door closes, Jackson looks down at his daughter. She's holding the cone with both hands and he smiles at her determination not to drop it on the floor. When the elevator stops, and the doors slide open, Harriet slowly walks out. He watches as she starts to make her way down the hallway, stopping every few steps to make sure she doesn't drop the cone.

Nearly ten minutes pass, before they finally reach the room. Harriet opens the door and quietly walks in. Most of the time when they come in, Harriet goes towards April's bed, and immediately starts talking. Harriet usually goes on for nearly an hour before it's his turn to talk to April. So, it surprises him, when she decides to stand quietly at her bedside. Jackson watches as she stares at the mother she's never known, and he feels his heart ache. "This is for you, mommy." Harriet holds the cone out to April and after a few minutes it starts to melt. Jackson's heart drops, as tears form in his daughter's eyes. There's nothing in this world he wants more than for April to open her eyes again.


	7. The Ultimate Journey

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". This chapter will be from April's P.O.V. and feature a very important conversation between her and Samuel. Unlike the last chapter, April doesn't know that she's been in a coma for five years because time passes differently where she's at. As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 7

The Ultimate Journey

April grins at her son, as they walk along together. She realizes that this is the first time in her life that she doesn't have a schedule to follow. As a surgeon, she must always keep her surgeries organized, but here she can just be. "Mom, we need to stop right here." April snaps out of her thoughts and comes to a stop. She turns to Samuel who is looking at something past her. April follows his gaze and her eyes land on Jackson. He's sitting in a hospital room looking completely lost. "Dad's been struggling with losing you in his life for a long time." April's heart aches at the thought of Jackson hurting because of her, especially since they've already caused each other enough pain over the years. _"I just wanted to stop in and tell you how well Harriet's doing. She's the top speller in her class and won the school Spelling Bee this past week."_ April feels tears gather within her eyes at his words. She wonders how long she's been in a coma? It seems like it's been years considering their daughter is just over a year old. Her heart clenches at the thought of Harriet growing up without her.

Jackson smirks at her comatose counterpart. " _She's so much like you, April. I hate that you're missing so much of her life. You need to wake up because she needs you in her life…I need you."_ April's breath catches at his words. After everything they've been through together, he still needs her. The thought causes her tears to start cascading down her cheeks. "See, I told you dad still needs you." April takes a moment to collect herself, before turning to face her son. "How long have I been like that?" The question hangs in the air between them for a few moments before Samuel finally answers her. "It's been five years." She suddenly feels faint and is glad when Samuel wraps his arms around her in a hug. April's sure that if he wasn't here to hold her up, she'd probably be on the floor right now, completely broken.

Samuel holds onto her tightly and the two are quiet for who knows how long. April feels like she's failed her daughter by not being there for her, by not being a _mother_. "Mom, Harriet still loves you and knows you'd be there for her if you could." April's heart stops, as she pulls back from her son. "How do you know?" Samuel gives her his father's smirk and it makes her feel a little bit better. "I have my ways." He begins walking into the vastness again and April reluctantly follows him. She's afraid of what she's going to be shown next.

The two walk side by side for a while before they stop again. April takes a sharp breath in as her son looks at something past her once again. She slowly turns and sees a little girl playing with her dolls. April knows instantly that it's her beautiful daughter. She watches as Harriet puts her dolls down and grabs onto the locket around her neck. Harriet opens the little heart and two tiny pictures appear on either side. On the left, there's a picture of herself and on the other side, there's a picture of the three of them after she had given birth. Her heart aches for her daughter in this moment _. "Mommy, I want to show you my dolls."_ April feels a fresh batch of tears roll down her face, as Harriet picks up one of her dolls. "This is Kimmy, she's a Doctor just like you." April feels like her heart is breaking inside of her chest, as Harriet picks up her next doll. _"And this is her patient Danny."_ Even though the scene is painful for her to watch she can't stop a smile from appearing on her face. Of course, her daughter has dolls that are portrayed as doctors. She's an Avery, she'd expect nothing less from Katherine. April's sure she's already got Harriet learning medical terms in her spare time. _"I want to be just like you, I want to save people. Daddy said you were the best doctor ever."_ April feels so overwhelmed by the moment, she has to turn away. She wishes more than anything that she could be down there right now playing with her, loving her.

April hears her son clear his throat and she looks over at him. He's standing there with the saddest look she's ever seen on his face. "Harriet always talks to you and sometimes she even talks to me." April's eyes widen at his words. "Did your dad tell her about you?" Samuel gives her a nod. "Yeah, he told her that I'd take care of you, so here I am." Her confusion of the situation intensifies, as he takes a few steps towards her. "I'm trying to help you get back to them. Somehow dad knew that I was the only person that could." With those words, the sound of a hospital monitor echoes through the vast space, creating an instant ache in her heart.

When a prayer for a dying soul is recited, she knows exactly when this is in time. "Mom, you need to turn around and face this day." April closes her eyes and starts sobbing. She can't relive this horrible day again, she won't survive it. She suddenly feels Samuel's hand on her shoulder, but she still refuses to open up her eyes. "You and dad never found your way back from this because you never faced it together." April remembers that day as being the biggest nightmare of her life. They had brought their son into the world, only for him to be taken cruelly away. Her and Jackson had both been excited about the pregnancy. In fact, their marriage had been the best it ever had at that time. The two were on the same page for once and they were looking forward to starting a family together. Then, it took just one day for their dream to crumble, for their lives to be turned upside down.

April hates thinking about this horrible day, but she knows that facing it is the only way for her to get back. She takes another sharp breath in before slowly opening her eyes. "I'm right here, mom." April gives him a nod before turning to see herself cradling baby Samuel in her arms. She watches as Jackson holds her close to him, trying to be there for her. April observes the man she still loves, seeing the pain etched in his features. She knows Jackson has never been big on showing his emotions, but she can see now how much this was killing him. At the time, April had been focused solely on her own pain, thinking that their son's death wouldn't impact him as sharply. However, she had thought wrong, when he had yelled at her in their kitchen about him needing her to get through his grief.

A realization dawns on her now, as she continues to watch the sorrowful scene play out in front of her. The reason why their relationship got derailed was because they had lost sight of the people they had fallen in love with. April had loved everything about Jackson and in turn he had loved her in the same way. In essence, they had both loved who they were at their cores. _No one understood them the way that each other did. It was just that simple._ Until, their world came crashing down by the death of their son.

Suddenly, it was like they didn't know each other anymore, like they were strangers. The Jackson she had known before she had left to Jordan, the man that she had loved with every fiber of her being, was gone. The light in his eyes had disappeared and it turned out that he was just as empty as her inside. April's sure that Jackson must have felt the same way when she had decided to extend her tour in Jordan. They weren't acting like the same people they were before because of their grief, which made them completely unrecognizable to each other. It created a chasm between them that they couldn't close no matter how hard they had tried. "I want you to visit me with dad, finally say goodbye together." April feels the warm tears continue to fall down her cheeks, as she thinks about how her and Jackson have never visited Samuel's grave together. She usually stops once a month to sit and talk with him, but she's never asked if Jackson visits him.

April feels a pang in her heart, as she gives Samuel a nod. "Do you hear me, when I'm talking to you?" She turns to see her son nod with a smile. "Yeah, I do." April wipes the tears from her eyes, trying to steady herself. "You call me Sammy." She freezes for a moment, trying to wrap her head around his revelation. The thought that he's always been right there with her listening makes her heart warm. April gives him a wide smile feeling the unconditional love only a mother has for their child. "I love you, Sammy." Samuel gives her a smile back. "I love you too, mom. We still have one more stop to make before you can go home, follow me." With that, her son pushes forward, and April watches him for a moment. She wishes more than anything that Jackson could see him like this, happy and healthy. April makes a mental note to tell him everything about their amazing son when she wakes up from her coma because Jackson too deserves to know that their son is okay, that he's safe.


	8. Heartbreak

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". First, I would like to thank everyone who took the time to comment on the last chapter, your kind reviews made my day. This chapter will switch back to Jackson's P.O.V. as he's faced with devastating news. This will definitely be another emotional chapter, I hope you all have tissues ready. As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 7

Heartbreak

Jackson makes his way to April's room after his shift, finding the need to talk to her. Even if she can't respond, he knows she's listening, and that's enough until she comes back to him. As Jackson gets closer to her room, he sees April's entire family huddled outside talking to Bailey and Webber. He's surprised to see everyone, considering they've only been here to see her a handful of times. When he reaches her room, all conversation stops, and everyone turns to face him. Jackson's heart drops at the solemn expressions on their faces. "What happened, is April okay?" Bailey and Webber exchange a look, and Jackson's world suddenly feels like it's closing in around him.

Before they can stop him, Jackson fights his way through her family, and quickly runs into the room. His eyes look over at the monitor and he notes that everything seems normal. Then his eyes fly over to April and she's in the exact same position she's been in the last five years. Jackson breathes a sigh of relief, as he turns to see Bailey and Webber standing in the doorway. Webber gives him a deafening frown. "Let's talk about this in the conference room." He puts his hand on his shoulder and leads him down the hall. Bailey walks alongside them, her eyes brimming with concern.

Jackson feels numb as they enter the conference room and he sits at the table. He looks between Webber and Bailey, trying to figure out what's going on. "Dr. Avery, I'm sorry to tell you this, but April's family has decided to take her off life support." Jackson feels his heart break at the news. He can't believe that after all this time, they've decided to give up on her. "Why are they doing this?" Webber walks over and takes a seat next to him. "As a doctor, you know that her brain function won't recover." He pauses, and Jackson waits for the inevitable words he's been dreading since the day of the accident. " _She's gone son, you have to let her go."_ Gone, how is he supposed to wrap his head around that? _April has never been gone, she's always been close to his heart. Apart of him, apart of Harriet._

The tears begin to cloud his vision and pain radiates within his heart. He can't lose her, not after everything they've been through. They both deserve a second chance, a happy ending. Jackson feels anger rise within him and erupt to the surface. He looks at Webber and then over to Bailey, before getting up, and storming down the hallway. He can hear Bailey commanding him to come back, but he's not in control. Jackson can't accept this is the end, he won't. He quickly opens the door to April's room and sees her family saying their goodbyes. Anger rages within him. "You can't do this." Her family all look over at him, while his eyes fall on her parents. Jackson doesn't know them that well, but they've always seemed like good people, which is why he can't believe they're going through with this.

He watches as April's mother squeezes her hand before looking over at him. "This is what's best for her." Jackson shakes his head. " _No, this is what's best for you._ April wouldn't want this." Her father gives him a glare. "And how do you know what she would have wanted? You broke her heart when you abandoned her and now you think you know what she would have wanted." Jackson shakes his head, his anger now threatening to consume him. "I never abandoned her, I haven't left her side. I may not be married to April anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't love her." The room is silent for a few tense moments, before April's mother's voice cuts through. "This is what's best for her, it's time for our little girl to see Jesus." Jackson's whole world stops in an instant and his blood runs cold. Memories of his life with April flash through his mind and he can feel the tears running down his cheeks. Jackson has always held out hope that they'd find their way back to each other, that she'd come back to him.

Now, as he stands completely broken in the middle of a hospital room, he knows that this is the end _. Their story will remain unfinished and there's nothing he can do about it._ The realization hits him hard and suddenly everything disappears around him. He can't imagine a world without April Kepner in it. _Especially, when she's always been everything in his world._ Jackson can't grasp how he's going to go on without her. He suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder, but he barely registers it. "You have a little girl you need to be strong for, she's going to need you." Jackson nods at Bailey's words, knowing she's right. He needs to be strong for Harriet because it's what April would want.

Jackson rubs his eyes and somehow manages to get to his feet. He takes one last look at her parents. He knows he needs to fight for her, something he had failed to do in the past. "I know you've made your decision, but I'm asking you to consider Harriet. She needs April in her life and as long as she's alive, she has her mother. _Please don't take her away from her, from me._ " With that, he makes his way out of the room, forcing himself to leave the only person he wants to talk to. _His soulmate, his person, his love. His April._


	9. Only You

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". This chapter will bring us back to April and Samuel. You will find out the last thing Samuel has chosen to show April. I hope you continue to enjoy the story, it's been a joy to write. As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 9

Only You

The bright light fades and reveals a scene she thought was left behind long ago. _A scene that made her believe that Jackson was her soulmate._ April can't help but smile at the magical image of her and Jackson in that tiny on-call room, dreaming about a future that was just beyond their reach. "Dad was serious about marrying you here." April nods at his words, not able to take her eyes off the scene playing out in front of her. "I know, it feels like a lifetime ago." She watches herself for a moment, so young and hopeful, and wishes she could just go back to this point in time. Her and Jackson were at their best in this moment. They were one in the same and she misses feeling so whole.

April tries to hold back the tears that are threatening to escape her eyes. She misses the unexplainable connection they used to share and the powerful love that sprung from it. April feels Samuel's hand on her shoulder and she's taken away from the moment. She turns to him and he gives her a smile. "You can start over with dad and have moments like this again. Don't give up on him, you're a soldier, remember?" April gives him a small smile despite the tears cascading down her cheeks.

After a few moments, April feels Samuel release her shoulder from his grasp. The scene suddenly changes to a much darker one. April watches as she appears again in a hospital bed, only this time, she sees her entire family gathered around her. As her eyes roam over her family, she notices that everyone is crying. Her heart stops when she realizes what's about to happen and her head starts spinning. Is this how her life ends? If so, where's Jackson and Harriet? April's not sure how long she's standing there feeling utterly lost before she feels Samuel's hand slip into hers. "It's going to be okay, mom. You can go back before anything happens. I promise Dad and Harriet are waiting for you." Her eyes unblur, as she turns to her son.

April's heart aches at the thought of leaving him here alone because she feels like she's abandoning him. April touches his cheek softly. "I'm not leaving you, Sammy. I won't abandon you." He shakes his head, a tear slipping down his cheek. "Mom, you're not abandoning me. This is your path and mine has already diverged from yours." April gives him a nod and somehow her smile widens. "Diverged, huh? How many other big words do you know?" She watches a smirk appear on Samuel's face and her heart warms at the sight. "I'll always be with you, dad, and Harriet. I promise I'm not going anywhere." April can't help but cry through her laughter. "That's good because I don't want you missing out on all the family fun we're going to have." She watches her son's smirk widen and despite her pain, she's thankful that she's been blessed with the miracle of seeing her son again.

April takes one last look at the son that she loves with her whole heart, the son that was taken from her too soon. _From them._ She reaches out one last time to embrace her beautiful boy. April feels the tears falling down her cheeks, as she holds onto Samuel tightly. "This isn't goodbye, mom. I promise we'll see each other again." Her son pauses, and a few moments pass, before his voice breaks the silence. "Tell dad that I'm okay and that he can stop worrying about where I ended up." April pulls back to look at him and gives him a nod. "And tell Harriet that her big brother will always be watching out for her." Her tears continue to fall rapidly down her cheeks, as she holds her son again, trying to memorize every detail of this moment.

When Samuel pulls back a second time, April's heart begins to ache sharply. The dreaded moment has finally come to leave her son behind. "I love you, Sammy. Your father and I will always love you. You're apart of us, just like we're apart of you." April's eyes meet Samuel's and she can see the tears glistening within them. A smirk suddenly appears on his face and her heart warms. "Stop getting sappy on me, mom." A look of playful annoyance crosses his face and it once again reminds her of his father. Samuel gives her a nod and backs away from her. April finds herself taking a sharp breath in before she meets her son's eyes. "So, how does this work?" Samuel takes a few steps towards her. "Think of dad and Harriet. Picture yourself reuniting with them and your mind will align itself with your body." April takes her son in for one last time before she turns and closes her eyes. She takes another deep breath and the other half of her family swims in front of her eyes.

April feels her ears humming and her heart throbbing. Her body suddenly feels like it's falling in slow motion. After a few moments, the humming suddenly stops, and she hears what sounds like a heart monitor. April's not sure how long she's falling before she feels a jolt through her body. She slowly opens her eyes and adjusts them to the bright lights overhead. April feels a pain shoot through her head and she's forced to close her eyes. "Dr. Kepner, can you hear me?" Even though she doesn't want to feel that blinding pain again, she knows that she has to.

April starts to open her eyes for the second time and sees an unfamiliar nurse standing next to her bed. "I'll go tell Dr. Shephard you're awake." The nurse rushes out of the room and then April's eyes fall on her extended family. Before she can even react, she feels her mother wrap her up into a huge bear hug, something she hasn't done since she was a child. Her eyes then peer over her mother's shoulder at her father, who's giving her a wide smile. Even though she's happy at this moment, there are only two people in the world she wants to see right now. _Her family, Jackson and Harriet._


	10. My Other Half

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". This chapter will be a pretty emotional one from Jackson's P.O.V. and I'm really excited for all of you to read it. As always, thanks for favoriting/following and commenting.

Chapter 10

My Other Half

Jackson is sitting in the cafeteria feeling like the whole world is swallowing him up. He looks over at the clock and finds himself holding his breath as the minute hand strikes 12. Jackson can't believe that there's nothing he can do to stop what's happening to her right now. He tries not to think about April having her final moments without him. Jackson had vowed that he would be there for her until the day he died, and he had failed to do that. _He had failed April._ He feels the tears springing to his eyes and feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest. "Daddy." Jackson quickly turns to the beautiful sound of his daughter's voice and can't help but smirk in her direction. "Why are you crying?" She points to the tears that are now falling down his face and his heart aches for her.

Jackson hates that she'll never really know her mother, that she'll never have any real memories of her. He feels anger rise up inside of him at the thought. Jackson can't understand how someone as good as April could die like this, be taken away from the people that love her. _He suddenly wonders if it even matters how someone lives their life, the choices they make._ "Daddy." Jackson is taken out of his thoughts and refocuses his attention on Harriet. He realizes that he's probably scaring her by the way he's acting right now and that he needs to get himself together _. He's once again reminded that this is how April would want it._ Jackson reaches out and grabs her little hand in his. "I'm okay, sweetheart. I was just thinking about your mom." Her little eyes dim, and he can see the sadness muddle her usual bright self. "What's wrong with mommy?" His heart breaks at the fear he sees in his daughter's eyes and he instinctively wraps his arms around Harriet.

Over the last few hours, Jackson has been dreading telling Harriet about April. _He's been going over and over in his mind how he's going to tell his daughter that she can't see her mother anymore, that she'll never see her again._ Jackson doesn't want to break her heart. "Do you remember when I told you about your big brother Samuel?" He feels her little arms squeeze him tighter. "You said he was in a happy place." Jackson nods at her words. "That's right and now your mom is with him." He feels his daughter still in his arms and knows she understands what he's telling her. Jackson should have known that he wouldn't have to explain it too much to her because she's so smart, just like her mom.

When he hears her start crying on his shoulder, his heart shatters. "I thought mommy was just sleeping, daddy?" Jackson can hear the confusion within her little voice and he feels the guilt wash over him. He should have told her that there was a chance she wasn't coming back to them, that she wasn't just sleeping. He holds her closer to his chest, as she continues crying into his shirt. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I should have told you that your mom might never wake up." Jackson suddenly wonders if she'll resent him when she gets older for not telling her the truth. He couldn't live with her hating him over this. "Dr. Avery." Jackson quickly looks over to the nurse. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Dr. Kepner just woke up from her coma." It takes him a second to process what she's just said, but once he wraps his head around it, he's up out of his chair. Jackson grabs Harriet's hand in his and they run out of the cafeteria together.

It takes them a few minutes, but when they reach her room, both barge into the door. April's eyes immediately connect with his and his heart feels like it's exploding with warmth. He can hardly believe that all of this is real, that she's come back to him. "Mommy." Jackson feels his daughter let go of his hand and rush towards April. A smirk comes over his face as he watches Harriet jump onto her mom's bed and nearly knock her backwards. He watches as April finally holds their daughter in her arms again after so many years and he feels the pieces of his broken heart start to fit back together.

He has spent so much time dreaming about this moment, hoping for it to happen, that he can't seem to get himself to move forward. Jackson wonders if April is feeling a sense of disbelief too right now. He can't imagine what it would be like to wake up after years of being asleep, even though he feels like he's been asleep emotionally since she went into the coma. Jackson should have known he'd shut down after her accident because she has always been his other half and he hopes he's hers.

As her eyes meet with his again, Jackson knows that he needs to fix things with her. They had left their relationship in a bad place and he just wants to make things right between them now. April flashes him another smile, as she smooths the back of their daughter's long hair, and whispers one phrase over and over again, just loud enough for him to hear it across the room. _"I love you so much, nugget."_ Jackson can't help the smirk that slides across his face or the tears that glisten in his eyes. _He's never believed in miracles before, chalking them up as pure coincidence, but this moment is proof that they do exist. Miracles are real and he's definitely a believer now._


	11. Home

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". Wow, I'm so happy that everyone is enjoying this story so far. I promise that the following chapter will be just as emotional as the last. As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 11

Home

April feels the happy tears falling from her eyes, as she finally holds her little nugget in her arms again. She can feel Harriet squeezing her tightly, not wanting to let her go. In return, April holds her just as tightly. "Mommy is it really you?" She grins as she smooths the back of her daughter's hair once again. "Yes, baby, I'm really here." April feels Harriet bury herself deeper into her chest and her heart breaks for her daughter. _She's been without her for so long in her life, she wonders if she'll ever be able to make it up to her, if she'll ever forgive her._

As she continues holding her little nugget within her arms, her eyes meet Jackson's again. He's staring at her like he's seeing a ghost, like she's not really here. The pain she sees etched in his features makes her heart ache. April can't imagine what he's been through, how hard her coma has been on him. She knows that if she had been in the same position, she would have felt broken without him. Like a piece of her was missing. April tries to push down the overwhelming emotion that is threatening to consume her by giving him a tearful smile. He gives her that smirk she loves so much in return and she feels her heart skip a beat. "I missed you so much, mommy." April tears her eyes away from Jackson and gives Harriet a little squeeze. "I missed you so much too, I love you." She feels her daughter pull out of her arms and lock eyes with her.

Harriet takes a few moments to observe her, like she's trying to take in every detail of her. "I love you too, mommy. I always knew you'd come back, it's been my very special birthday wish." April gives her daughter a smile. "Your very special birthday wish, huh?" She gives her the brightest smile she's ever seen, as she climbs into her lap. April can't help but wrap her arms around her. "Yeah, daddy says that I can have one very special wish on my birthday, and it's always for you to wake up." Her heart warms at her daughter's touching words.

April can feel the happy tears begin to fill her eyes once more, as she holds onto Harriet tightly. "Mommy…I…can't…breathe." She can't help but laugh at her daughter. "Well, you better get used to this, nugget. I'm never letting you go again." Harriet starts to giggle and its music to April's ears. Her daughter turns in her arms to face her. "Why did you call me nugget?" April smiles at her. "I used to call you nugget when you were a baby." Harriet goes into another fit of giggles. "That's a silly name, mommy." She can't help but laugh along with her daughter, happy that they are together again.

Their laughter is interrupted by a voice that she hasn't heard in years, a voice that has always made her heart skip a beat. "Harriet let's let your mom get some rest." She turns to her daughter who shakes her head. "Mommy only just came back. Can I pretty please stay?" April can't help but smile as her daughter gives him her best puppy dog face. She turns back to Jackson and knows he's a goner. "You can stay for another half-hour, but after that, we need to let your mom rest." Harriet gives him a reluctant nod and April's eyes meet Jackson's once more. She tells him thank you with her eyes and he gives her one of his sexy smirks in return. April knows he understands what she's trying to tell him, even without words. She gives him a smile back, as he settles into a chair across the room.

For the next half-hour, April smooths her daughter's hair, and holds her close. The moment she hears her daughter's soft snores, she can't help the grin that spreads across her face. "That snore reminds me of you." Her breath catches at his words, as she hesitantly locks eyes with him. As she stares into his blue-green eyes after all these years, she realizes how much she's missed him. _How her love for him hasn't changed, despite what's happened between them._ April gives him a smile. "I don't snore." Jackson gives her a smile. "You do snore and it sounds a lot like that." She wishes she could slap him in the arm, but she has their beautiful daughter in her arms right now. "Does she talk about me?" He gives her a nod. "All the time. Most days, I can't get her to stop talking." April smiles at that as she turns her attention back to her little nugget. She gives her a soft kiss on her forehead, content that she's finally able to hold her baby like this again.

April can feel his eyes burning into her and she relishes in it. She can feel her heartbeat pick up speed in response. _"She really missed you…we missed you."_ Her breath catches again, something only he can cause her to do. Jackson has never been the type of person to express his feelings easily, except for when he had stood up in that church, and declared that he had loved everything about her. April smiles at the memory, as her eyes lock with his. The way he's looking at her right now, like she's the only woman in his world, makes her heart skip a beat. "I missed you both, too." Jackson gives her a smirk and the two sit in silence for a few moments watching their daughter. April still can't believe that she's no longer a baby, but a little girl. She's missed so much time in her daughter's life and she wishes that she could have been with her during all her firsts. Her heart clenches as she realizes that she missed both her children's first years. "I saw Samuel." It slips out of her mouth, as she reluctantly locks eyes with Jackson again.

The mix of grief and surprise cloud his handsome features. _Her heart aches for him._ She watches as he makes his way over to the hospital bed and sits at the edge. "April are you sure it wasn't just a dream?" She shakes her head, more certain than she has ever been about anything. April tentatively reaches out to hold his hand in hers. "It wasn't a dream, Jackson. I saw Samuel and he told me to tell you that he was okay. That you didn't have to worry about where he had gone anymore." Jackson's eyes open wide in surprise and April squeezes his hand in response. She hadn't meant to tell him about seeing their son on the same day she had woken up, but it's out now.

April watches as tears glisten within his eyes and her heart clenches in response. "I know this is hard for you to believe, but you have to have faith, that what I'm telling you is true. I saw our son and he's happy. Samuel has always been with us and he was the one that helped me get back to you." Jackson squeezes her hand in his this time and his eyes remain locked with hers. She prays that he believes what she is saying, just once. Especially, since Samuel had wanted Jackson to know that he was okay.

April feels the tears fall down her cheeks and land on top of their daughter's hair. For the next few minutes, she waits for Jackson to say something, anything about what he's thinking right now. "I want to believe you." She gives him a sad smile. "Then believe me when I tell you that our son is safe and as much apart of us as we are of him." His red rimmed eyes glisten from the florescent hospital lights overhead. A few more minutes pass, before Jackson finally gives her a nod. "Tell me what he's like?" April gives him a grin. "He appeared to me as a teenager and he reminded me so much of you…" As the two begin to talk about the son that they love so much, but never got to raise, they start to reconnect in both heart and mind.


	12. The New Normal

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". This chapter will feature Jackson's P.O.V. during his conversation with April about seeing Samuel. As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 12

The New Normal

Jackson feels his heart clench, every time his son is mentioned. _His son._ Jackson takes in every detail April gives him about Samuel and imagines what his son would look like. What his personality would be like. April does her best to describe him and Jackson's grateful for it. _He's grateful for her._ There's something about the way she comes alive when she talks about something he did or said, that makes his heart skip a beat. _He's missed this, her like this._ It reminds him of the April he used to know, his best friend. The girl he had been in love with even before he had realized it.

April gives him a soft smile before reaching out to grab his hand. His eyes meet hers. "Are you sure you're okay with all this?" Jackson gives her a nod. "I'm fine, it's just a lot to take in." April gives his hand a squeeze. "I know, when I first saw Samuel, I felt like I was imagining it. I never thought I'd see him again, hold him…" He hears her trail off and the tears start to fill her eyes. Jackson can't imagine how much pain she had gone through seeing their son, only for him to be taken away again. His heart twists in his chest as he feels that gnawing hole in his heart start to gape open wider.

 _Samuel had taken a piece of him when he had died, a piece of both of them._ He feels a tear fall down his cheek, as his eyes meet April's again. After Samuel died, he had tried to be strong for her, pretend that their son's death wasn't impacting him as much as it was her. Jackson had initially thought that he was helping April by hiding his feelings, but then she had left him. When she had gone into a coma, he had realized just how wrong he had been. By not sharing his feelings and grieving together, they had become disconnected from each other, and their marriage had ended. They both didn't know how to deal with the loss of their son.

Without thinking about it, Jackson reaches out, and brings her into his arms. It's been a long time since she's been this close and even longer since the smell of her floral perfume has hit his senses. It's a quick hug, but he knows he's giving her the support she needs right now. As he starts to pull back, Jackson's careful not to wake up Harriet, who's snoring softly on April's lap. "I'm sorry." he whispers to her. He sees her stiffen slightly before meeting his eyes. "What are you sorry for, I'm the one crying?" Jackson shakes his head. "I should have been a better husband." Her eyes widen at his words, but she lets him continue. "You needed me to share what I was feeling. I thought I was helping you, but I realize now, that I was driving you away." April shakes her head. "It wasn't all your fault. I should have seen you were hurting, just as much as I was. When you gave me that ultimatum before I left for my second tour in Jordan, I should have listened. I'm sorry I wasn't listening." He stares at her for a few seconds, surprised that she's decided to take some of the blame.

When she had come back from Jordan, she had made it clear that she wasn't at fault. By that point, he had given up on them. As soon as she had boarded that plane for the second time, he had decided that their marriage was over. In his eyes, there was no going back for them. _No way to salvage anything_. "Samuel made me remember the good times we were together, but also some of the painful times. _He made me realize that we've been through a lot, but we're not broken._ " Jackson feels a twinge in his heart at her words. Maybe this could be their new beginning? There's a silence between them for a few moments before April's eyes lock with his and her voice fills the room. "I think the only way we're going to find our balance again is if we discover what made us work in the first place." Jackson gives her a smirk. It's not exactly what he had expected her to say, but he's glad she's not closing the door on them completely. "Are you friendzoning me?" April laughs at that and Harriet stirs on her lap. He watches as she holds her breath, until their daughter's snores, start to fill the room again.

Her eyes finally meet his once more. "Why not, I seem to remember you putting me in the friendzone for years?" Jackson smiles at that. "I did do that, but I don't regret it." Her eyes stare at him in curiosity for a few moments before he explains himself. "I don't regret it because being your best friend was the first time that someone knew me not as an Avery, but as Jackson. You never cared who my family was. I don't think I ever thanked you for that." He watches as a familiar sparkle comes to her eyes. "I wasn't going to give you an even bigger head than you already had." He gives her another smirk. "I didn't have a big head." April accidently lets out another big laugh and Harriet sits up quickly rubbing her eyes. "Why are you laughing so loud, mommy?" He watches as April's smile faulters. "I'm sorry, nugget, daddy just said something _really_ funny." Jackson shakes his head, as Harriet turns her attention to him. "What did you say, daddy?" She's looking at him expectantly and he's trying to figure out how to answer. His eyes travel over to April, who's giving him an amused smile.

Jackson knows that she's enjoying this, as he turns his attention back to Harriet. "Well, mommy used to be a pretty big nerd. She had this red notebook and…" April cuts him off. "…daddy had a lucky pencil he used to carry around for luck." Their daughter starts to giggle, and he shakes his head at April. "That's so funny, daddy! What was the name of your super-duper lucky pencil?" He grimaces at her word choice. "It didn't have one." Harriet goes into another fit of giggles and April joins in. Jackson knows that he's outnumbered here, but he's grateful because he's sure, that whatever happens with April, at least they'll always have this.


	13. Starting Over

I do not own any characters, plots, or anything else pertaining to "Grey's Anatomy". This chapter will be in April's P.O.V. and they'll have a serious discussion about what's next for them. As always, thanks for following/favoriting and commenting.

Chapter 13

Starting Over

April wakes up the next morning at the hospital, the bright sun rays shining through her window. She can't help but smile as the light warms her skin. Ever since she was a child, she's always loved the sun. She used to play outside for hours in it and often refused to come in from the fields on her farm in Moline, when her mother called her in for dinner. Her smile widens, as she remembers her father calling her his _little sunshine_ because of her love of the sun. There's suddenly a knock on the door and she jumps a little. Jackson stands in the doorway with his hands inside his pockets. "I thought I'd stop by to check on you." April gives him a nod and then forces a smile. "I'm happy to see you." He smirks at her and then sits down in the chair next to her bed. "How are you feeling?" April's fake smile widens. "I'm feeling great, just happy to be alive." Jackson leans back in his chair and seems to be observing her. She shifts uncomfortably in the bed at his intrusive gaze.

When they had been married, Jackson had always looked at her like this. The feeling in some ways is a familiar one, but in other ways, it's completely new. It dawns on her that she hasn't had a conversation alone with Jackson in five years. Not to mention, the last time they had talked, they had argued. Suddenly, she feels a nervousness flood her veins, and she's not sure how to get rid of the unsettling feeling. "April, talk to me. I can see that's something's bothering you." She takes a sharp breath in, trying to calm her tumultuous emotions churning inside, but she knows that it's no use. The truth is, starting over with Jackson terrifies her. April knows that it shouldn't, considering everything she went through while she was in the coma, but she can't help the fear coursing through her.

April suddenly feels a jolt of electricity flood her body, when Jackson takes her hand. He forces her eyes to lock with his and her heart skips a beat in response. "What's wrong?" April takes a sharp breath in, the tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm scared, Jackson. I have no idea how we even begin to fix us. We've got so much to talk about and…to forgive…" She fades off and notices the shift in Jackson's gaze. He's no longer looking at her with compassion, but _fear_. "Do you think I'm being crazy?" Jackson shakes his head. "No, you're being, April." He gives her a smirk, but she can't return the smile. "I want to make things work, Jackson, I'm just scared that things will turn out like they did before. You still don't have faith and I tend to run away from my pain…" April trails off again, feeling the tears, cascading down her cheeks.

Jackson squeezes her hand and his eyes lock with hers. "Hey, we'll figure this out together." She gives him a nod and it's her turn to squeeze his hand. "If I'm going to give my heart to you again, you have to promise me that you're with me. No matter what happens in our lives, I need to know that you're with me, Jackson." There's a pause and April notices a flash of anger in his eyes. They've never been good at this part, talking about their problems, and finding a way to support each other through the hard times. After another beat, he finally gives her a nod, all anger gone now. "I'm with you." April feels the tears sting her eyes as she pulls her hand away from his.

Her heart believes he's telling her the truth, but her head is uncertain. She wants to believe that Jackson means it, that he will stand by her without any doubt, but she's been here before. She knows in her heart that he loves her, that he's always loved, and she was shown just how much while she was in the coma. Still, she can't help but think of the last time Jackson had promised her he'd stick by her. It was during the months leading up to their divorce. He had promised that he'd take therapy seriously and work on their issues, but he had given up, and slapped her with divorce papers instead.

April's heart aches inside of her chest, as these thoughts churn within her mind. When she finally manages to pull herself together enough to look over at Jackson, he's staring at her in confusion. After a few more moments pass, April decides to put on a brave face and break the silence. "I think I need to find a way to trust you again." He gives her an uncertain nod and she can tell that he's a little hurt by what she's just said. April knows that if this is going to work between them, it has to be said.

A few moments pass before she decides to break the tension by putting her hand out. "My name is April Kepner. I was raised on a farm in Moline. I'm a Trauma Surgeon and I've just woken up from a five-year coma. Would you like to hang out, sometime?" Jackson gives her a smirk in return and puts out his own hand. "My name is Jackson Avery. I was raised in the city of Chicago. I'm a Plastic Surgeon and if you don't mind spending time with a single dad, then I'll hang out with you." April gives him a smile, as she shakes his hand officially. "It's nice to meet you, Jackson Avery." With that, the two start with a clean slate, and the first page of their new story begins.


End file.
